Jack loved exploring the woods behind his house. He spent hours upon hours wandering through the trees, hiding behind great big rocks, and jumping over fallen logs. He never knew what each new day would bring.
He imagined himself to be off searching for dragon-hoarded-gold or buried-pirate-treasure, hidden away in the deep, dark caves. He never found any real treasure, mind you, but he pretended he did. He kept his acquired gold hidden away in one of those deep, dark caves, the location of which only he knew.
Of course, he had to valiantly fight off dragons, or pirates—or, on one memorable occasion, both at once—to keep his treasured gold. This was difficult and dangerous work, but Jack always proved victorious.
“I’m Jack,” he’d announce, posing in triumph, with his hands on hips and one foot on his imaginary fallen foes, “and I claim this treasure as mine.”
Jack had great fun, all thanks to his imagination.
This, at first, worried his mother quite terribly. After all, she wanted her son to have real friends, not imaginary ones. His father assured her that it was normal for a child his age, that there was nothing to worry about, let the boy have his fun. His mother pursed her lips together worriedly but eventually agreed that perhaps his father was right.
One day, while Jack was walking through the woods, toward the cave in which he’d hidden his imaginary treasured gold, he pretended he was sneaking through the trees, trying to escape the notice of a roving band of shipwrecked pirates, led by the terribly fearsome Captain Ben “the Butcher” Jones. He’d encountered them in the forest before. They were intent on stealing his treasured gold.
Of course, Jack was far too clever and far too quiet for them. It was a simple matter for Jack to slip past them and disappear into the forest, vanishing like smoke.
In actuality, Jack made quite the ruckus, crunching leaves underfoot, snapping twigs, and narrating loudly to himself what he was doing to escape from the roving band of pirates. Anyone within earshot could have easily heard him.
Eventually, Jack managed to arrive at his cave, doubling back several times to make sure he wasn’t being followed. He wasn’t. But as Jack stepped into the deep, dark cave, it came as a complete surprise to find someone already there, waiting for him.
From out of the darkness, claw-like hands snatched at him, grabbed hold of his favorite red t-shirt, and pulled him into the deep, dark cave. He had other red t-shirts, but none quite as red as this one.
At first, Jack was very scared, because he couldn’t see anything in the dark. Oh, and he didn’t know who had grabbed him. That was scary too. But mostly the darkness thing.
Then, a light flared into existence, a bright ball of red-orange flame, and suddenly, Jack was able to see. He blinked slowly as his eyes adjusted to the sudden light. He saw that his captor was holding the ball of flame in one green-scaled hand. With the other, he held tightly onto the front of Jack’s favorite red t-shirt. His captor was a dragon.
The dragon stood on its hind legs—which is rather unusual for most dragons to do—and its spiked tail was curled by its clawed feet. It wasn’t all that much taller than Jack, and he didn’t see if it had any wings or not.
That wasn’t the strangest part of it all, though, not even close. Oh no. The strangest part of it all was that the dragon, atop its green, serpentine head, wore a pirate’s hat. Jack could tell it was a pirate’s hat because it had the skull and crossbones, and everything on it. Jack had never seen a dragon wearing a pirate’s hat before.
Although, truth be told, Jack had never seen a real live dragon before either. As strange as it was, there was really a dragon wearing a pirate’s hat holding onto him by his favorite red t-shirt. How very odd.
“Um… hello,” he said nervously. He wasn’t quite sure what to say, but he figured that “hello” was as good a place as any to start. “Can I help you?”
Again, he said this because he didn’t know what else to say. What would you say?
The pirate-hat-wearing dragon glowered at him with eyes of flame. “Save it,” he growled with a dragon’s snarl. “Where are you hiding the gold?”
Jack thought fast. For a moment, he considered playing dumb. What gold? But he quickly rejected such a thought. The dragon had known to wait for him here. He knew the gold was here too. He just didn’t know exactly where it was.
The problem was, that the pirate-hat-wearing dragon didn’t seem to realize that Jack’s gold was imaginary. Jack wasn’t quite sure why the dragon thought otherwise, but when Jack told him as much, the dragon breathed fire in a bellow of rage. He sent a gout of orange-blue flame skyrocketing toward the cave ceiling.
“Don’t lie to me!” the dragon snarled. “Tell me where it is!”
Jack had been frightened at first, but now he was beginning to get a little mad. He had told the truth, hadn’t he?
“Listen here!” Jack shouted back, forgetting the fact that the dragon could very well barbeque him if he so desired, “I told you, I don’t have any real gold. I’ve only ever pretended to hide it away here. I don’t know why you think I actually have gold, I’m only nine years old! We can dig up the whole cave floor if you like, but we still won’t find a single gold coin!”
While Jack was yelling at the pirate-hat-wearing dragon, something strange began to take place. The dragon began to shrink back and cower before Jack. He let go of Jack’s favorite red t-shirt and even let out a small whimper of fright. Not at all like a fierce dragon should act.
Jack blinked in surprise. The dragon was actually crying, actual tears were running down his scaly snout. Jack felt ashamed. He hadn’t meant to make the dragon cry. He hadn’t known such a thing was even possible. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief. He held it out to the pirate-hat-wearing dragon mutely.
The dragon stopped crying for a moment and looked at Jack with shock. Then, he hesitantly took Jack’s handkerchief with his clawed hand and used it to gingerly dry his tears. He blew his snout with it as well. He held it out to Jack again, who took one look at the dragon-snot-soaked handkerchief and shook his head.
“No, no, you keep it,” Jack insisted.
“Thanks,” sniffled the dragon, and then stuck the dirtied handkerchief under his pirate hat.
“I’m sorry I made you cry,” Jack offered an apology, half-heartedly at first, and then found to his surprise that he actually was sorry. Never mind the fact that the dragon had very nearly made him cry. Or that he had poked holes in Jack’s favorite red t-shirt, ruining it.
“Oh, that’s okay,” sighed the dragon. “It’s what I deserved, I suppose, for scaring you like that.” He sat down on a boulder in the cave and shook his head defeatedly. “It was a long shot anyway, thinking you had any gold hidden here.” Then, he began to cry all over again, great big dragon tears.
Jack was utterly bewildered. “Excuse me, but why are you crying?” he asked.
It took a bit before the dragon had recovered enough to explain. “Oh, it’s just that aliens kidnapped my dad and they won’t give him back unless I pay them the ransom.”
Jack blinked once. He was certain he had misheard the dragon. “Oh,” was all he managed to say. Which, all things considered, was more than most would be able to say, given the circumstances. Aliens kidnapping dragons in exchange for ransom gold? This was a very strange day indeed.
But just because it was strange did not mean Jack was just going to continue sitting there speechless. He drew himself up bravely—or, at least, he hoped he looked brave—and announced to the pirate-hat-wearing dragon, “I’m Jack, and I will help you get your dad back from the aliens.”
It was by far the strangest declaration he’d ever made in his life.
The dragon looked at him, amazed. “Really?” he asked hesitantly. “You’d do that for me? Even after I tried to rob you?”
Jack nodded. “Absolutely. I understand why you tried. You just wanted to help your dad. And now, I want to help you.”
The dragon shook his head, bewildered, but held out his clawed hand for Jack to shake. “Very well, Jack,” he said. “But I should warn you—this will be very dangerous. Aliens aren’t very peaceful, you know.”
Jack nodded seriously. “Oh, I know,” he said. “Trust me, I’ve faced creatures more dangerous than them before.”
He hadn’t actually, of course, because he had never seen—much less encountered—anything even remotely dangerous before in his life. But he had read a great many books and seen a few movies, though. And he imagined himself to have fought deadly creatures before. That was enough, wasn’t it? So, while his knowledge of aliens and other dangerous creatures wasn’t exactly practical, at least it was theoretical.
The dragon looked reassured, though, and breathed out a sigh of relief. “Oh, good. I’m Roger, by the way. I’ve never done anything like this before, so I’m glad you’re on my side, Jack.”
Jack shook Roger’s hand. “Of course,” he said fearlessly. “Let’s go rescue your dad. Do you know where the aliens are holding him?”
Roger nodded. “They left a note behind when they took him this morning.” He reached under his pirate hat and rummaged about for a moment before pulling out a folded piece of paper. He handed it to Jack. He took the paper and read it aloud.
“To whom it may concern. Roger. We have your dad. Give us 2,000 pieces of gold or you’ll never see him again. Sincerely, the Aliens.”
Jack looked up at Roger and frowned. “Well, that’s not very helpful, is it?” he exclaimed. “Where are you supposed to take the gold once you have it?”
“Turn it over,” Roger said miserably. “There’s a backside.”
Jack turned it over.
“P.S. Take the gold to the abandoned shack on the far side of the forest by 2 PM. You know, the one with the broken windows. Okay, goodbye, Roger. For real this time. Sincerely, the Aliens.”
Jack looked up and handed the ransom note back to Roger. He looked at his wristwatch, the one his parents had given him last year for his eighth birthday. It had action heroes on it, but not any ones you’d recognize, because the watchmakers didn’t want to get sued for copyright infringement. It was 1:30 PM.
“Well, that doesn’t leave us with much time to come up with a plan, does it?”
Roger shook his head woefully. “Finding your buried gold was really my last-ditch effort.”
“That’s okay,” Jack assured him, thinking quickly. If there was one thing Jack was good at, it was thinking quickly on his feet. Then, it came to him. The answer was so obvious, he didn’t know why he hadn’t thought of it sooner.
“I’ve got it!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together loudly. It echoed in the cave and Roger jumped in surprise, startled.
“Really? You do?” he asked hopefully, and Jack nodded. “What is it?”
Jack beckoned for him to lean in closely, eyeing the dragon’s pirate hat. “We don’t have much time,” Jack said in a conspiratorial whisper, “and this will only work if you do exactly as I say…”
Twenty minutes later, a young boy and a pirate-hat-wearing dragon tromped through the forest. They made quite the ruckus as they headed toward the abandoned shack. You know, the one with the broken windows. They stomped on leaves and twigs and made so much noise that if anyone were in earshot, they would most certainly hear them.
“Are you sure this will work, Jack?” Roger asked anxiously, wringing his scaled hands nervously as they walked.
“Sure, I am, Roger,” Jack said confidently. “I’ve never had to deal with a ransom situation before, but I’ve been in plenty of other situations before. This will work. I know it will. Trust me.”
That seemed to be all the reassurance Roger needed. He nodded and the two were quiet for a while as they walked. Well, quiet because they weren’t talking. They were still very loud as they walked through the forest. Then, Roger asked in a small voice, “Why are you helping me, Jack?”
Jack didn’t know how to respond. He hadn’t really thought about it. He hopped over a fallen log and then shrugged. “I don’t know, Roger, it just seemed the right thing to do really. That’s what friends are for, you know.”
This seemed to surprise Roger. “Is that what we are? Friends?”
“Can we be?” Jack asked.
“Of course, I’d like that very much.”
“Me too.”
“Well, thank you,” Roger told him.
“You’re welcome,” Jack replied.
They were quiet for a bit. Then, “Roger?”
“Hmm?”
“Why do you have a pirate hat?” Jack had been wondering that for a while now.
Roger chuckled and shook his head. “No particular reason. I just like pirates, that’s all.”
“Oh, okay. Me too.” Jack was satisfied with Roger’s answer.
The two of them could see the abandoned shack on the far side of the forest now. Jack looked down at his wristwatch. 1:58. “Well,” he said. “This is it.”
Roger nodded and licked his lips nervously. “Yep.”
Jack turned to Roger, a serious look on his face. “Listen, Roger,” he said. “I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I’m glad I met you.”
“Me too, Jack,” Roger smiled. “I’m glad we’re friends.”
Together, the young boy and the pirate-hat-wearing dragon walked up to the abandoned shack on the far side of the forest. Silently, Jack hoped to himself that his plan would actually work. He didn’t want to let his friend down.
Jack led the way toward the shack with broken windows. The front door with chipped and faded paint was cracked partially open. Jack took in a deep breath and then pushed the door open. He and Roger stepped inside.
As strange as the day had already been, it was about to get a whole lot stranger.
The abandoned shack looked worse for wear. Not that anyone would ever try to wear a shack, of course. Fallen leaves were scattered upon the broken wooden floor, intermingled with the stuffing from a couch that was no longer quite as plump as it had been. On that couch, bound in chains, sat Roger’s dad.
At least, Jack assumed he was Roger’s dad. After all, what were the odds the Aliens had also taken another random hostage who also happened to be a dragon?
Roger’s dad looked up as they entered, and his eyes widened in shock and fear. He shook his head quickly and hissed, “What are you doing here? Leave, now! It’s a trap!”
But it was too late. Behind Jack and Roger, the door to the abandoned shack swung shut with a deafening BANG! Jack and Roger whirled around to find themselves staring down the end of an alien’s laser pistol, pointed right at them.
The alien holding it wasn’t very tall, no taller than Jack, actually. It had bright green skin and was wearing a neon orange jumpsuit that had buttons and tubes on it. The alien’s eyes were opaque and amber-colored, unblinking as it stared at Jack and Roger. In short, it looked very much like you might expect an alien to look. Three other aliens had also hidden behind the door, similarly dressed to the first. They also had laser pistols drawn and leveled at Jack and Roger.
In a slightly warbled, nasal tone, the first alien spoke. “Roger, Roger, Roger… It’s two o’clock. And yet, I don’t see the gold we told you to bring. Where is it, Roger? Where is it?”
The last time he asked, the alien was practically shouting. The laser pistol he pointed at Jack and Roger shook in his hand.
Jack and Roger were very frightened if they were being honest with themselves. But they had a plan. All they had to do was stick to the plan.
Jack stepped forward with his hands raised in a peaceful, placating gesture. “We have your gold,” he assured the Aliens in what he hoped was a reassuring tone.
They all looked at him. Laser pistols were lowered. The anger was momentarily forgotten; they chattered enthusiastically to each other in their strange, alien language.
“Hold on,” Jack cried, interrupting their celebrations, and the aliens stopped, staring at him. “We don’t have the gold with us,” Jack explained. “It was too heavy for us to carry. That’s a lot of gold, you know.”
Again, the aliens spoke in hurried, frantic tones with each other. Then, the first alien swung his laser pistol back to Jack and Roger, and the others followed suit. “Take us to your gold!” commanded the first alien. “Then you can have your dad back, Roger.”
“He needs to come with,” Jack spoke up again. “The gold is buried deep underground; we’ll need his help to dig it up.”
More angry alien chatter.
Jack paused and then added, “Unless you want it to take us a couple of days to dig it up by ourselves…”
No, the Aliens didn’t want that at all, it seemed. “No, that’s too long to wait!” the first alien snapped. “We need the gold today!”
Jack smiled and shrugged. “Then, I guess we need to bring Roger’s dad along with us to help.”
The Aliens clearly weren’t happy about it, but they agreed to take him along.
“Lead the way, human!” commanded the first alien, the leader of the bunch, it seemed.
Jack turned back to look at Roger and Roger’s dad. “Very well,” he said. His heart pounded loudly in his chest. This might actually work. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t dare believe it.
Jack led their strange group back into the woods, back through the trees. The first alien followed after him, laser pistol drawn, and Roger and his dad were next. The other three aliens trailed after them, a very strange procession indeed. If anyone else would have seen it, Jack doubted they’d believe it.
They made quite the ruckus again, tromping through the woods. Jack and Roger might have even been doing so intentionally.
“How much farther?” the first alien pressed Jack urgently, and Jack pointed ahead.
“We’re close. Just beyond those trees,” he said. That was the signal.
Seemingly out of nowhere, a deep voice boomed, “AVAST YE!”
As the first alien turned toward the source of the booming voice, Captain Ben “the Butcher” Jones himself came barreling toward their small group, bursting out from behind the trees. His shipwrecked pirate crew came screaming behind him.
The aliens were caught completely by surprise to see twenty pirates, armed with swords and knives, and flintlock pistols charging them. They didn’t fire their laser pistols. They did the only reasonable thing. They ran.
Dropping their laser pistols, the aliens scurried away in fright, running from the bloodthirsty pirates, running through the forest, running all the way back to their flying saucer, heading back to their home planet of Zi-Zy 12, some fifty billion lightyears away.
The pirates, Jack, and the two dragons all cheered. One of the pirates helped Roger’s dad get out of his shackles. They didn’t seem to find it all that strange to be dealing with aliens or dragons at all. Perhaps they’d faced stranger things than that before on the strange waters of the sea.
Captain Ben “the Butcher” Jones ambled up to Jack and Roger, his thumbs hooked in his sword belt. “Funny little fellows,” he grunted, nodding toward the direction the Aliens had fled. “I was sure they’d put up a fight.”
“I thought so, too,” Jack shrugged. “Oh well. The good thing is, we have Roger’s dad back, safe and sound. All thanks to you, Captain.”
The pirate waved his hand dismissively and glowered. It was an appropriate gesture for a pirate captain to have. “Bah, don’t mention it, kid. When you came and told us that those green, little fellows kidnapped yer friend’s dad, well, that didn’t sit too well with me and my crew. Happy to help out a fellow pirate,” he added with a nod toward Roger, who still wore his pirate’s hat.
Neither Jack nor Roger felt inclined to correct him and say that Roger wasn’t actually a pirate. He just liked the hat.
Still, a common enemy in the Aliens had brought peace to the forest that day. A peace between Jack and the pirates. One which Jack hoped would last.
Eventually, they said their goodbyes, leaving Jack and the two dragons alone in the forest. It was getting dark out, and Jack knew from looking at his wristwatch: It was almost time for him to head home and clean up for supper. His mother wouldn’t be happy if he were late, even if he explained to her the reason why.
“I can’t thank you enough,” Roger’s dad said to Jack gratefully. “If not for you, young man, I’m not sure how today would have gone.”
“You’re welcome,” Jack smiled. “I was happy to help.” He turned to Roger, his smile fading slightly. “Well, I’ve got to get going now,” he said and held out his hand.
Roger pulled him into a great big dragon hug instead. “Thanks for everything, Jack,” the dragon wearing the pirate hat said, his voice muffled slightly.
“Of course, Roger, that’s what friends are for,” Jack answered him.
Roger let go of his friend and stepped back. “Can we get together again?” he asked anxiously. “Even if today was dangerous and very strange, I’m glad I met you.”
Jack smiled. “Sure,” he said. “I’ll meet you at the abandoned shack. That’ll be our clubhouse. See you tomorrow, Roger.”
“Bye, Jack.”
The two friends parted ways. Jack headed back to his house, whistling happily at how the day had gone. What a wonderful, delightfully strange, peculiarly odd day. He really did love playing in the woods behind his house.
When he got home, his mother scolded him for getting all dirty, losing his handkerchief, and somehow ruining his favorite red t-shirt. She asked him what on earth he’d gotten into that afternoon.
Jack told her excitedly.
His mother rolled her eyes up at the ceiling and wondered to herself if her husband had actually been right, that this was a healthy, normal way for a child his age to behave. “Honestly, Jack,” she sighed. “You have quite the imagination.”
From Can Evil Wizards Make Balloon Animals? All rights reserved.
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