The Uninviting Tavern

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Tropes are just one of the many patterns woven into the great tapestry of story. Every genre contains various threads of that story pattern. Some weave in more tropes than others. If they’re skillfully woven, you’ll never even realize they’re there. If not… well, like a coffee stain on a white shirt, they’re noticeable.

(A genre that uses the same tropes time and time again is the Romance-Comedy genre. Think of just about any movie or story in that genre and you’ll see a pattern emerge. No judgment here—I’m a fan of Rom-Coms.)

These tropes exist because they’ve evolved from paperclips into the staples of whatever genre they’re in. And they’ve made it this far because they’re well-loved and oft-used. We’ve come to expect them, and if they aren’t present in a story, we’re disappointed.

Even if you aren’t a fan of fantasy stories, you’re probably familiar with some of the more well-known tropes. This blog series will cover the essentials: the tropes that every self-respecting fantasy story—whether a standalone novel, a sprawling 34-book series, or the classic trilogy—all employ in some way.

This series exists because sometimes it’s good to stop, call attention to some of our more noticeable coffee stains, and poke fun at them. It’s good to laugh at ourselves and the things we know and love from time to time. It helps us not take things so seriously.

This first blog post is about taverns.

(Come on, this series is about fantasy tropes—it almost has to start with taverns! It’d be a disservice to the genre if it didn’t.)

Taverns serve an important role.

You don’t have to look very far to find taverns in fantasy stories. Most make an appearance within the first three chapters or so, probably as a way of grounding the imaginary world with a dose of reality. Sure, the story takes place in a world with magic and monsters, but it also has a tavern—so it’s not all that different from our own world. We have bars too.

I guess a story where wizards throw fireballs at man-eating monsters becomes a whole lot more believable if there’s an element commonly shared between fiction and nonfiction.

Ergo, taverns.

They’re great for introductions—a meeting place for mysterious figures to stand in doorways instead of walking through them like normal people. Why? Well, it’s probably because they want to announce their presence as grandly and magnanimously as possible. And a story has to start somewhere—might as well be in a tavern or on the way to a tavern.

Taverns also serve as a waypoint—a place for heroes to gather their wits and rest their wearied bones before continuing along their travels. Though, if this variation on the trope is used, you can be sure that the henchmen of the villain will discover the heroes at the tavern and they’ll be forced to make a “Midnight Flight” or something catchy along those lines.

While we’re on the subject, taverns in fantasy stories reliably have really witty names and signs. (The signs will usually swing ominously in the wind as a mysterious figure approaches the tavern.) Below is a helpful formula that many fantasy writers follow for coming up with tavern names:

Article (Usually “the”) + Descriptive Modifier + Animal, Mythological Creature, or Inanimate Object = A Great Tavern Name

Try it. The Snoring Minotaur. The Stone Chalice. The Angry Duck. Those are classic names that would fit flawlessly into any fantasy story. But don’t take my word for it. Check out some of your favorite fantasy books. Chances are, the authors followed the formula above whilst deciding upon a tavern’s name.

Hey, if it works, why change it?

All this aside, one thing that has always bothered me in fantasy stories (including my own) is the fact that taverns and tavernkeepers consistently get the short end of the stick. They silently suffer for the good of the rest of the story.

Taverns are usually wrecked in brawls started in a desperate attempt to keep the plot from fizzling along the Hero’s Journey (another trope I’ll get to eventually). Or they’re broken into by the villain’s henchmen who’re looking for the hero (and they usually end up stabbing beds and causing property destruction instead of finding their quarry).

In either case, such destruction is devastating to the tavernkeepers. Such malicious acts can ruin someone’s entire business overnight! Insurance claims adjusters would have a field day just trying to sort through everything. I imagine that is why insurance companies (if they exist in such stories) undoubtedly strongarm tavernkeepers into signing high deductible policies or risk going uninsured—which is completely unadvisable. The risk for tavern owners to go uninsured is too high.

To keep this short, you know what I’d like to have exist in at least one fantasy story? A tavern that doesn’t suffer the brunt of the villain’s wrath or property damage due to a tavern brawl that got out of hand for comedic relief. A tavern where patrons can go and have a quiet drink whilst patiently waiting for the protagonist of the story to head out from their town and go off to bigger and better things—like saving the world. A tavern where heroes and villains are not welcome.

Now, that might seem a little extreme and uninviting, but it might just be the only real way for tavernkeepers to safeguard against the untimely destruction of their property. They have a hard enough time as is without also having to worry about their establishment being destroyed for the sake of advancing the story’s plot. After all, they’re running the fantasy equivalent of a bed-and-breakfast.

What would such a tavern look like? I imagine it would need to have a sign posted on their door that reads:

“Heroes and villains not welcome. Harmless background characters only.”

That would probably do the trick.

Until next time,

Al